The trick, of course, is to be very well versed in those customs rules you noted. When we lived in Europe, my mother-in-law had Sears send some Christmas gifts to our local address (a mistake since we had an APO address that would have totally bypassed customs). Sears did NOT handle the shipment correctly -- there's a box on the customs form noting "Gift, of no commercial value" that's supposed to be checked for gifts. The result: For a box containing ~ $200 worth of gifts, it cost us about $170 in customs fees. If that box had been checked, it would have cost nothing. [The even-more-frustrating part of that whole episode was the Sears had charged my mother-in-law a $25 "customs handling fee", which they said was for their "expertise" in handling overseas shipments.] That episode was ~ 20 years ago, but I definitely learned a lesson about being sure you KNOW the rules when making overseas shipments !!
Never underestimate the stubbornness of bureaucracy. The NZ threshold is only $400 but go one cent past it and you can kiss goodbye to nearly $100. I take it that you have an association with the US military, I've been lucky enough to have an APO address in the past - very worthwhile.