Solutions
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What's_a_Computer?'s post in Parity Disks Failure? Error States 1/week was marked as the answerI bought a H310 and moved the parity drives to that instead of the SATA ports on the motherboard pictured above.
If they stay synced for three weeks I'll mark this as solved. Thanks for your help @JorgeB! Your posts in other threads helped me a ton too.