Thanks ghost82, that was certainly a trip down the rabbit hole.
When I built the server the motherboard was quite new and wasn't fully supported by Unraid until 6.9.
This was my first time updating the bios.
In the midst of all that my Windows VM disappeared, can't think how or why but I did need to create a new one and copy of the old definition to restore it.
After updating the bios I had lost all my bios settings so I needed to enable virtualization, boot from USB, etc.
Then I discovered all of the device mappings had changed, so no VM definitions made sense.
It looked like the IOMMU groups now made more sense so I turned off IOMMU splitting and preceded to use the native groups.
I was able to reassign the groups in the VMs, starting with the Mac VM, and get them going again.
Finally I redefined the Win10 VM using all 4 groups + the DVD drive and it seems to work perfectly.
Boots up, drive works, and shutdowns no problem.
Thanks for the suggestion! (Never would have imagined all the fall out from the bios update.)