I finally got it to work, and as the dev I thought you should know in case you run across someone else asking at least with my motherboard (asrock rack x570d4u).
No matter what pcie gen 4 card I put it it would do the same thing, no video out and unraid would see it but the nvidia app wouldn’t. With a pcie gen 3 card it worked fine.
I had to completely disable CSM and at least on my board I specifically set the slot the GPU is in to UEFI. I was able to get video out and the driver saw it no problem. I knew it was something simple.
Thank you for your time! And sorry about the thing which shall not be named, part of the reason I went with a Quadro card anyway (a2000) especially now that they’re around $300 on eBay they are the perfect plex card.
Thanks!