The Asmedia 106X 2 port controller works well, any Asmedia with more than 2 ports will have a SATA port multiplier and that's not recommended, not clear if you mean 2 ports + external port, or 2 ports total and one can be external.
Any connected storage device counts, doesn't matter if it's connected by SATA, USB, eSATA, etc
eSATA would be better, but avoid cables longer than 1m.
That's really depends on what you need to use it for, for Dockers 20GB should be more than enough, any user shares can use cache or not, it's up to you.