You are right, i should have posted diagnostics and instead stated i have similar symptoms and not assuming the problem was the same.
Although the solution pointed my towards a thing i had not considered. packages in the extra folder. i have now removed all of them and updated without any issues so far, there was many leftovers that i don't even use anymore
Kind of silly i did not think of it before
Edit: and now logged on to a PC and i seem to have 2 user accounts here, i did post as gert initially