I wanted to come back and update this thread. Again, I was having the EXACT same issue as OP, and like OP I made the change to Exclusive Shares. I made the change on 1/23 and have been up since without crashing. I definitely would have had a crash given the frequency for almost a year.
Clearly there is something wrong with Unraid's FuseFS implementation as previously suspected. Luckily there is a workaround, and hopefully this helps anyone having this same issue in the future.