So I have zero idea what I did, but for one boot it worked and updated the drivers. I rebooted and it was gone again 😂 I've run out of patience for now, but I'm sure in the near (or far) future it will work. Just a matter of time. In the meantime I'm going to "rent" a cheap Quadro P400 off ebay and use that. Need to cut my losses for now and just have something that works. Good luck and I'll keep an eye out in this thread and will post back if I have any luck!