So it is fixed.. Not sure if something was not seeded properly, or it was stuck on some loading screen.
I took out all dims, and put them in again, very carefully, then booted and it said settings have changed go into bios. I did, did not change anything, i saw the system was registering 32 GB and saved and exited. it reset and UnRaid is back up and running.
than you all for jumping so quick to help. Happy HolidayS!