Thanks for replying this is what I did.
I downloaded the ark survival docker
added server name, server admin password
changed map to TheIsland
added ?RCONEnabled=True to Game Parameters
then added -NoBattlEye -noantispeedhack -crossplay to Extra Game Parameters:
I do have a cache the is says "yes:Cache" on all my files
I left the steam credentials blank
and not sure if it makes a difference but i am using ark on epic games