Sorry, I meant my own server.
I was able to connect to yours with xbox but not steam deck.
I was not able to connect to MY server with either device, on either local or global IP.
When I remove the -crossplay argument and change nothing else, I can connect with my steam deck, but not my xbox (expected behaviour)
In case you understood what I meant, I will now try doing name lookup for my own server.
I can confirm the password is 6 characters and has no special characters.