I had the exact problem as you described for the first time. Then I changed my iphone's name from A iphone to B_iphone, and I could see from the daapd log that it found the new name.
I edited the iphone.remote outside with the new name and new paircode, and copied to my music library folder the 2nd time. It got paired instantly, and the unraid_music_library is displayed on my iphone.
[2016-02-21 15:27:33] [ LOG] remote: Read Remote pairing data (name 'A iPhone', pin '3256') from /music/iphone.remote
[2016-02-21 15:27:33] [ LOG] remote: Remote 'A iPhone' not known from mDNS, ignoring
[2016-02-21 15:30:20] [ LOG] remote: Discovered remote 'B_iPhone' (id xxxx) at 192.168.1.xxx:63498, paircode C2B0247F23E5xxxx
[2016-02-21 15:32:57] [ LOG] remote: Read Remote pairing data (name 'B_iPhone', pin '7974') from /music/iphone.remote