Thank you for taking time to reply! I know it has been a few days... I stopped caring about ZFS for a while but gave it today another shot with different configs, trying to incorporate your tips and also did some more research. I also stopped caring about that benchmark, I just used it as it was more or less comparable to my setup. Having said that, I of course "benchmarked" it, but just by samba file transferring and running VMs on it and stuff. Samba maxxed out at about 90MB/s (or about 750Mbit/s) which is still a bit slower than hoped for. Realistically it's fast enough, but still noticeably slower than a normal unraid+cache setup.
Also getting samba to work, I tried the symlink approach, has been quite annoying as often I would get errors about permissions.
Maybe I try truenas after my vacation which should be more guided in setup and see if maybe I still did something wrong somewhere.