Sorry for the delay again, I had to wait for a parity rebuild and then a large file transfer befor i could start rebooting the server willy-nilly. Anyway, through the removal and adding of plugins and the culprit appears to be the unassigned devices plugin.
You can see in the attached log files that right before avahi crashes out with an oom, unassigned devices throws some warnings while trying to do something with a local synology drive, not sure how or if that is related, I just know that I can boot fine and not get an out of memory error with every plugin installed, but as soon as I install the unassigned devices plugin it craps out. And it will do it with or without the 2 unassigned devices addons.
Mar 17 15:17:10 Tower unassigned.devices: Warning: shell_exec(/sbin/arp -a 'ALFRED.local' 2>&1) took longer than 10s!
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Mar 17 15:17:26 Tower unassigned.devices: Warning: shell_exec(/sbin/arp -a 'ALFRED' 2>&1) took longer than 10s!
Mar 17 15:17:36 Tower unassigned.devices: Warning: shell_exec(/sbin/arp -a 'ALFRED.local' 2>&1) took longer than 10s!
Mar 17 15:18:25 Tower kernel: avahi-daemon invoked oom-killer: gfp_mask=0x100dca(GFP_HIGHUSER_MOVABLE|__GFP_ZERO), order=0, oom_score_adj=0
tower-diagnostics-20230317-1518.zip