Thought I would update this now that I have everything going again.
I used my Node 304 as a test bed since the parts were coming in over several days and I kept my main server going on the old mobo in the meantime. I had already lost 2 ports going to that old mobo, but one was unassigned and the other was parity2. And the new mobo wasn't going to get me back to 10 ports without using that expansion slot, so parity2 wasn't coming back. I only had 5 data disks anyway. So while I tested the new stuff as it came in, I reconfigured my storage on the still running main server.
Since I already had some SSDs reclaimed from other projects, I upgraded my raid1 cache pool from 2x275GB MX300 to 2x500GB 850EVO. Then I thought it might be fun to use the M.2 slot on the new mobo, what with multiple cache pools in our future, but that meant I had to give up another SATA port (and another part to buy). I shuffled files until I could shrink the array, only giving up one 4TB drive in the process (all others are 6TB).
Since my former parity2 was 7200RPM instead of 5400, I decided to use it to rebuild one of my remaining data drives. One of the other disks threw 41 pending sectors during that rebuild, but the rebuild seemed to be OK anyway and a filesystem check didn't find anything. I ordered an 8TB disk which I will use for parity swap when it comes in Sunday. That will get me started on upsizing my old drives, now that they are one fewer.
So today the last part came in (except that parity swap disk), a 256GB M.2. Everything worked as it was supposed to, including that OCULink cable. The M.2 took one port from that though. I moved all the new stuff into my PC-Q25 case. No problems so far on the new hardware.